There's no denying that being an artist can be a challenging pursuit. Not only do you have to worry about your creative output, but you also have to think about how you're going to make a living doing what you love. One of the most important skills you can learn as an artist is how to ask for what you need. This includes both emotional and financial support from the people around you.
What if you are an artist? You might be feeling anxious about asking your loved ones for things like emotional support or financial help with the cost of materials.
But don't let this fear hold you back. We know that it can feel guilty or daunting at first. Still, please continue reading because our guide will teach how to get over any hesitation quickly and gracefully. All those important relationships that mean so much in life keep growing more robust as time goes by.
Therapists, artists, and creatives of all kinds can find themselves struggling with how to ask for what they want. This guide is designed as a toolkit that outlines both pragmatic strategies (such as knowing when it's quality time)and emotional techniques, so you have more positive experiences at work.
We all know the feeling of not asking for what you need because we've been conditioned in a society where competition is king. The fear can make us believe that people will be unwilling and less generous with their help, but there are ways around this problem that we cannot make eye contact.
The fear of being marginalized can be further exacerbated by institutionalized oppression against folks who aren't privileged within the heteropatriarchy.
The first step to breaking the cycle of fear and alienation is realizing that it's conditioned rather than innate. We live in a world where many humans want to help others. This means you can ask for what you need without feeling like an alien.
Eye contact is critical; low self-esteem doesn't work here
The second factor contributing to overcoming the fear of asking for support is recognizing and naming your own needs through eye contact. What resources or skills do you lack? Where are you struggling with something right now but could use some help to get through it on this site? Nobody exists alone; everyone deserves kindness sometimes.
By calling out these shortfalls publicly (in a way where most people will listen), we can let go of unreasonable expectations about handling everything ourselves when reality says otherwise - After all, nobody has ever done anything perfect all the time.
Ask directly
The third factor to overcoming your fear of asking for support is learning to ask directly and not wait around. When you name the need, it allows enough other people to help on our behalf because they know what we're going through.
By opening up and asking for support, you can create a space where people can play an active part in your creative journey. This kind of exchange opens doors that otherwise wouldn't be open or possible without it.
Let's exercise to help you be more confident when asking someone out on a date.
Make a space for yourself where you can be creative and free.
Consider how you'd feel if you were going to ask for something you wanted.
A few right words can answer this question, or you could provide complete sentences.
What does it feel like to be a giver?
Think about how you can be a more giving person. What does it feel like when someone cares enough for others and themselves that they are willing to give of their time or money?
Do the things in life with purpose: GiveDirectly is an organization that connects people who need help across generations by sending them cash donations straight from our bank account.
This is an excellent exercise for artists and art collectors. When we work with our clients, the first step in getting them excited about their project (or just selling more) is by asking everyone interested in helping us out with some research showing - this way, they can experience all those positive feelings associated together giving something back.
If you make art that resonates with people, they'll want to keep coming back for more. But before long, your audience will be the only ones who know what it is about their experience together made them feel this way or appreciated how these images made them think differently than any other form of communication can hope to.
Figuring out who to ask & what to ask for
You can make a wide range of tasks, from trim and general to specific. Here are some examples:
Ask an artist you admire to collaborate with you
Ask your community for financial support through a micropayment platform like Drip or Patreon
Ask friends and supporters to come to your opening
Ask your network to support a new project through a crowdfunding campaign.
We all need support in our lives, and there are many ways to get it. The first step is knowing what kind of help you're looking for, whether that be access or emotional encouragement; both can make a world of difference.
To be more confident in your career, you must know where and how to get support. I'm going to show off an exercise we can do together. Ready? Here are the questions:
What are some of the ways you've asked for help in your creative career?
How do you think the other person felt about being asked?
What was the outcome of asking for help in this way?
How does it feel to support someone who is struggling or needs assistance?
Don't have unreasonable expectations
We all have needs, and it's essential to think about them rationally. To help you do just that, we've created some example situations for your consideration:
In this case, it would be more beneficial for the painter to re-invest in themselves by selling their older work or two. They can ask one of their supporters who has plenty of extra money on hand (a fan) to buy them out to continue painting as needed materials cost valuable prices. Time goes by without any new creations coming into being.
In the case of digital artists with a large community who want to continue creating art, they must have a reliable monthly income. For this reason, you may consider asking your supporters from platforms such as Patreon or Drip to provide these needs without risking any loss-of revenue because there's no guarantee when someone might stop supporting an artist after one pay period ends, and another begins.
Hiring an editor to edit your book might be difficult without the money, but there are other ways you can still get what's needed. For example, if writing is just one of many skills that this person has and they happen also create websites for clients, then maybe ask them if they could do both? It's worth a shot.
The best way to get what you need is by understanding your own needs and then finding a straightforward solution. Once we know how much pressure an issue weighs, it will be easier for us to advocate on our behalf with those who can help meet those desires.
Understand your own needs
So, you want to learn how to ask for what's needed? Well, that is a brilliant idea. The essential qualities of an "effective" ask to open the door and connect two or more people for some exchange to occur (or donation).
Trust first
When you are looking to get something from someone, trust is first needed. Trust can only exist in a relationship after time has passed, and genuine commitment has been made between two people who care deeply for each other as well as themselves.
Trust is built in many ways. One way to gain the trust of your audience, for example, might be by consistently putting out work that resonates with them and being an active member within their community-whether; this leads you as a person or through actions like donating time & money.
The setting and environment you ask for help in are critical. People are more giving in locations they feel comfortable.
Consider the time of day.
When seeking out support, it's essential to consider the time of day. It may be best not to ask for what you want at a busy Starbucks or during someone else's highlight reel Netflix-binge session because they won't have enough energy and attention on their own accord just yet.
The best asks happen in a one-on-one environment and feel personal. Even if you're using the internet to make your ask, try and make it as intimate of an experience as possible by not approaching someone at a loud party when they're clearly on their way out the door (for example).
Be clear about what you're asking for
You know what they say, "Don't ask people to join you on Drip or Patreon when everyone else is busy doing their own thing." It's not a great idea for them. If someone has enough going on in life already and then gets asked by the wrong person who seems eager but also perhaps unaware of these circumstances - well, it may be too much responsibility.
One of the essential qualities to have when asking for help is clarity. When you're unclear about what needs or wants to fix, people can get frustrated with your request. They may even feel like they are being inconvenienced because there isn't enough information given upfront as far as time-frame goes (which could lead them into thinking something more serious).
Make sure you always ask the following questions
What exactly are you asking?
When will you receive this support?
What sort of assistance can they give you?
Why now? Is there a need for action right away? (Is it a crowdfunding campaign with a time limit?)
To be an artist is to have a vision, and for that creativity of yours not just stay inside but instead come out as something other than what it currently resembles-you must constantly nourish yourself with honesty.
Be authentic by being enthusiastic
An authentic person is not perfect at everything they do; instead, this type embodies traits like enthusiasm (which we can see when someone believes deeply) or a genuine belief system since there's no facade behind them whatsoever.
Remember that it is not necessary to get a "yes" for your request or proposal to be valid. The importance lies in knowing yourself and what you deserve, so don't let the fear of asking stop.
The next thing to consider when asking someone for something is the format of your request.
There will be times that you make this ask in person, with just one other individual involved; however, there are also opportunities where everyone can take part through an online platform or system such as email listservs which allow many individuals from diverse backgrounds to come together on common interests without having any prior knowledge about each other beforehand.
Consider the format you ask in
Think about the format of your ask in this way: what kind of communication do I prefer? How can we best communicate via email, text message, free medium app, or phone call? The answer will depend on who's calling and why they're contacting me- but one thing is sure; it needs to feel authentic.
When you can, try to find ways of raising money that involve specific platforms and media.
For example, suppose you're asking for support on Kickstarter. In that case, it may be best not just through email but also social media sites like Facebook or Instagram, so there's more exposure overall.
However, if you feel more at home sharing your thoughts with others through the spoken word, there's no need to worry because all video content on crowdfunding platforms is also written. That way, they can watch the videos using both methods.
We all have fears that we need to face, whether small or large. The best way of confronting your fear is by meeting it little by little and building confidence through practice.
Try this as an exercise
To get you started, try this in-person exercise with a trusted friend:
To complete this activity, you'll need a genuine dollar.
Okay, now imagine that you have a friend willing to be your financial supporter. It would be best to use the qualities of an effective ask we discussed earlier in this chapter when asking for their help.
Ask your friend if they will give you a dollar, and then ask them how they made that decision.
Switch roles.
The experience of asking for something is different than the one who gives. What felt better? Why did you want to provide, and what made your partner want more from you in return?
What to keep in mind after you ask
The fact that you have asked for what you need is a success in and of low self-esteem. How the other person responds to your request is not always within your control, but you can ensure that you have put yourself and your work out there.
Be prepared for different types of responses, including "no," or no response at all.
Remember that it is not necessary to get a "yes" for your request or proposal to be valid. The importance lies in knowing yourself and what you deserve, so don't let the fear of asking stop.
When someone says "no," take the time to reflect on why they may have said no and see if you can change their answer next time.
Always show your appreciation for their time
Even if the answer is "no," they have still taken the time to listen to you and consider your request. A little appreciation can go a long way.
Asking for what you need is a skill that takes practice, but it is a skill that you can learn. Remember to be clear, direct, and confident in your ask and have faith in yourself and your work. Good luck.
Do you have any experience with asking for what you need? How did it go? What tips do you have for others who may be struggling with this issue? Let us know in the comments below.
In summary
Remember these tips when you feel hesitant before asking for something. And most importantly, have faith in yourself- the more you practice and put yourselves out there, the easier it will become.
What is one thing you would like to ask for today? When we ask for what we need, we honor our desires and those of others. We are opening up opportunities for connection and collaboration to lead to beautiful things.
Takeaways
Asking for what you need is a skill that takes practice, but it is a skill that you can learn.
Remember to be clear, direct, and confident in your ask and have faith in yourself and your work.
When someone says "no," take the time to reflect on why they may have said no and see if you can change their answer next time.
Always show your appreciation for their time.
The importance lies in knowing yourself and what you deserve, so don't let the fear of asking stop you from putting yourself out there.
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